BBS Gifs

Bobby Bones Show - "32" Music Video Gifs Just in case you missed these awesome clips from the latest BBS music video "32".

This is how Bobby normally eats his fruit:

Ray and his 1990s dance moves:


Guns:


Ray-gasm over ice cream:


This move:


Ray in the corner showing the ladies where its at:


LB's nips:


and finally, whats a BBS video without Ray gyrating:

The Handicap Stall and Me

We have all been faced with the following tough scenario: A rumble in the stomach. Yup, that rumble. The burrito you bought from the shady guy on the street corner (sorry, Dave) is making its way down south. You have conceded the fact that you have to use the public bathroom. No big deal.

The tough choice arises when you see your stall options. Using MS Paint, I have recreated 99% of the public bathrooms I have visited in my 26 years on this earth (click the image to see the full masterpiece):



As you see from the image above, the handicap stall is the only logical choice. Nice layout. Enough room to host a game of Twister. Flowers everywhere. Safety bars bolted to the wall for that extra push. And yes, that is a 24k solid gold toilet. The other options are disgusting. The 'regular person' stalls are smaller than Anne Frank's hiding place. One is almost always out of order and the other one rarely has toilet paper and there is always shit EVERYWHERE. I will never understand how poop ends up on the seat and/or stall walls.

100% of the time I will choose option A, the luxurious handicap stall. I don't know about you but I always feel a little guilty using that stall. Usually I say a quick prayer to the shit gods to not let a handicapped person roll in and knock on the stall door. They must like me because I have never been faced with that awkward situation and I don't even want to think of how that conversation would go.

You will spend about 1-2 years of your lifetime on the toilet. Might as well make it as comfortable as possible.

40 Days and 40 Nights

Once in a while I feel the need to break out of the 140 character limit prison and write a useless blog entry. I am not a great writer so do not judge this blog/entry on grammar and word flow.

The other day I posted a mini rant on facebook about Lent. I am not Catholic but a lot of my friends are. Seeing a bunch of 'I am giving up _____ for Lent' posts just annoys the crap out of me. Here was my status update:

"People who give up self serving things for Lent crack me up. Oh noooo, you are depriving yourself of Dr. Pepper and ice cream for 40 days? Enjoy the weight loss. Great 'sacrifice'."

My main argument is that 90% of my friends are giving up things that will benefit them in some way. It has nothing to do with getting closer with God or sacrificing something important to them. If chocolate and soft drinks rule your life, I think you have more important issues to deal with. I thought I was going to get hammered by all my self-righteous friends but no one said a word. Maybe my post made them think twice. Maybe it didnt. At least I got it off my chest.

Ok ranting over. Now I will go watch 40 Days and 40 Nights over and over. Josh Hartnett is a very talented actor.

Sweating the Small Stuff

I forgot (again) that I had a blog. Marcus opened up his new blog and I realized that I have not updated in ages. (If you look at my blogging history, this is the standard opening line in all my entries)

I went through my old livejoural account and read all of the entries. 6 years ago I was a 19 year old bratty punk who thought he knew every. Today? a 25 year old not-as-bratty and sometimes douchey guy who still thinks he knows everything.

One of my co-workers gave me a great quote to live by:

"Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it is the grain of sand in your shoe."

With me, that is so true. I always let the little things bother me. Well, blog, no more...

No more sweating the small stuff.

M & M love

Whoops. Forgot I had a blog.

Ben sent this gem to me today:

"Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars,

Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading,

"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one."

If you don't lol at that, you are not someone I would shake hands with.

Blogging more soon.

Peace.

College World Series

This is the best time of year. The fact that the CWS championship series is going to a third game makes me giddier than a preteen at a Jonas Brothers concert.

College baseball is the purest form of baseball. Its not about getting that next big contract or being MVP. Its simply about winning. Its about being that last team of 64 to win the final game of your season. Tonight is the night Texas will do that.

I can get so excited/pissed off when Texas plays, especially in games of this nature. It is literally like a roller coaster of emotions. I can't explain it. As I am typing this, I am getting that nervous feeling in my stomach, a feeling I rarely feel. The last case of this feeling was back when I started dating Courtney (awwww, whatever I am cool like that). I don't know why a stupid little baseball game can make me feel like this but it does. And I like it.

So heres to you Texas. Play hard and I will love you. Play like ass and I will still love you but I will give you the silent treatment til next June.

Hook 'Em

Thing I have learned recently

Things I have discovered recently:
-Picante sauce and ketchup mixed together and added on french fries is soooo good.
-The Salvation Army is not armed.
-There is no such thing as a secret fart.
-The real world does not allow you to stay up until 4 in the morning playing NCAA Football or Tiger Woods 10.
-Playing tennis does not automatically make me classy.
-I try my best to cover up my lack of fashion/style but mesh shorts and a t-shirt feels too damn good.
-Repeatedly hitting the power button on the TV remote control does not snooze or turn off the alarm clock.
-I am 99.9% sure that given the opportunity to live in fantasy land, Courtney would cheat on me with Twilight’s best vampire, -Edward Cullen. Lame.

And this was just last week. I love my life.